Mona Ave

Temptations (98)

2008-08-10T14:10:00.000-07:00

**disclaimer this poem was written by me some time ago and NO it is not about me but i got inspired after hearing a speaker (Rae Lewis-Thornton) at my high school talk about her struggle.. so here it goes hope you likey. comments feedback appreciated. Thanks - 2 fingers 2 da side

I'm a 20 year old woman who's dying of AIDS, and now I'm about ot tell you the story of my pain

I was an 18 year old virgin i held my head up high

But avoiding temptations was hardest of all

I couldn't deny.

As i walked the hallways and listened to the lines

One voice rang out like a bell his words still fresh in my mind

The thought of his touch made my body tingle his smile made my heart sing

But what i didnt realize on his mind was just one thing

He asked me out for next saturday night

I was so anxious to be with him I said yes with delight.

He took me to a drive-in and as we sat in his car

We weren't there to watch the movie but he tried to go to far

I said stop get off me this isnt the right time

He called me names said i was teasing him, playing with his mind

Eventually i gave in, told him the answer was yes

He took me to a hotel room, locked the door and i'm sure you know the rest

Now i'm a 20 year old woman dying of AIDS

Don't grieve for my life but feel my pain

Because he didn't put a gun to my head, force me or even twist my wrist

It was just temptation I could not resist.

Temptations 08

2008-08-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

She never told me she was a virgin though thats no excuse for my behavior

I never knew she was at risk but every since that neighbor

Came over for some "sugar" never expecting what transpired

That my life and another's would soon expire

It was this passionate encounter that sealed both our fates,

DAMN shouldve worn that condom but it was already to late

I was deep into the moment back and forth penetrating

What the hell am I doing in my mind i was debating

Not so much the person but the soul i was attracted,

The twist of the hips is what had me distracted

So to the virgin i'm sorry for not resisting my own temptation

But now to myself my sexuality i was contemplating

So to prove to my manhood my thinking untrue

No homo in me I used you boo

In the back of my mind I knew it was wrong

Had you caught in my web of lies before too long

This secret i kept from both family and friends

Those fucking temptations is how it now ends.

Slowjam sunday

2008-08-10T14:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry about no throwback thursday.. so introducing slowjam sunday.

Ok so all the embedding was disabled for the real dru hill viedo so i put a live version up instead

Would you give a free pass to your "partner"?

2008-07-23T01:31:00.000-07:00

Would you consider an open relationship if your man/woman, husband/wife asked you to? And not necessarily in the threesome sense. What if you could give/get that often sought after "pass" to have sex with someone whenever the urge came about. It would allow you to have the honesty in the relationship opposed to the sneaking around and cheating. Me personally i'm a little mixed on the situation. Yes i want the honesty where my man can say damn she's hot and still bring it all to me, but could I give the "keys to the kingdom" so to speak- and let my man/husband have free reign of all the puss he could handle. I don't know never been in the situation thus far. I mean in a way its about being able to control your partner, like they would have to let you know that they found someone attractive and wanted to be with them and you can either say yea have it or no. It's also letting go of your freedom in a way too, because what if you have someone with a high sex drive and they liked being with other people- you can either join in the fun, or constantly have to give in to your partner's wants and desires to be with someone other than you. Is it enough to sustain a relationship even though your partner shares his/her body with others, but their heart remains with you? That's just my opinon,what's yours?

No green grass over yonder

2008-07-23T01:26:00.000-07:00

i just recently moved out of my apartment in Mexirea (the nickname i gave my spanish neighborhood in koreatown mexico+korea- get it). Neways, it was noisy as hell over there with the non-stop arguing from the gay bois in the building across the way, or the whenever they felt like it mariachi or reggaeton music. so i though when i moved into this seemingly lovely baldwin hills-adjacent area that it would be umm less noisy. But HELL TO THE NAWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I just had to get the apartment underneath the muthafukin bebay's kids (whom I call freespirit and moonchild) who are constantly running thru their apartment above my head. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I don't expect for kids to sit down 100% of the time but DAYUM will someone spike they drink so they pass out or something. Just want a least a couple hours of piece. I just moved in so i am not trying to be the "new complaining neighbor" but if this don't stop- and i mean SOON me and their parents will be having a nice pta like chat about when it is and when it's not ok to let your children run wild. Can someone tell me if it's possible to get a ritalin prescription for someone else's children? *sigh

Umm where are the africans coming from?

2008-07-23T01:21:00.000-07:00

I know i'm no halle.. but come on.

Why??? Why,y,y ESPECIALLY on blackplanet do i seem to keep attracting AFRICANS. And noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I ain't talking about nuccas who call themselves African-americans or those militant brothers who think we should go back to the motherland. I'm talking about str8 king of zumunda, nelson mandela AAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA (warrior call) AFR-I-CANS. Specifically Nigerians (some from Guinea every now and then) but mostly Nigerians! WTH is up with that.Now don't get me wrong i have nothing against the homeland brothers and if one suited my fancy i'd holla. But thus far, the ones that keep trying to spit game are the not-so-good-english speaking-(one actully wished me a happy DELETED birthday)-lips look a lil chapped-still dressing like the 80's (I mean the ORIGINAL 80's not this trying to bring the style back that's all the fashion rage right now. I personally think my Nigerian co-worker has put me on some damn website or some ish like Quuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeentobe.com or some ish like that. We kinda have a love-hate relationship and what better way to pay me back then by having a nucca posted up on something so dudes can flock and try and get they green card or some bull. But I am ON to ur game Sonny! I'm on to you so please, please take me off the site.. i'll leave u alone i promise- no more shoving off elevators, hehe. Anyways if there are any African brothers out there in cyberland, what is it about the boobs that yall b losing yall minds? Ok nuff said.

June 15 2006

2008-07-23T01:20:00.002-07:00

That is a day that i will never forget as long as i live. Three days before father's day, payday and the day my child lost her father and i lost my lover and best friend. I can remember exactly what i was doing at the time. It was about 7ish here in Los Angeles. Time to get up and get dressed and go to work. Then the phone ring- i almost wish i hadn't picked up, but would that have made the situation not be real? No. I sometimes still ask God for a do over. The caller id said "mom" and i answered because my daughter was in chicago with my mom. "Hello? Is jazzy ok?" were the first words out of mouth not knowing what i would hear next would make me think of suicide for the first time in my (then 26 years) of life. So let's rewind to the week before, I had now been in LA for about 2 months now (moved out here in April), work was going well, Jazzy was staying with her dad, me and him talked all the time- he was making plans to come out here as soon as i got settled- life was good. When he (his name is Corey) called me saying he had been having problems at work it didn't surprise me, he was a manager and he always had to do the "dirty work" upper management couldn't or wouldn't handle.

He called me one time saying there was a girl, one of the servers giving him problems, calling in sick, not showing up for her shift, and she would have to be handled. I knew what that meant- he was about to fire somebody or write them up- i told him to take it easy, but thats just the kind of manager he was- no bullshit, no nonsense. Then we had a conversation one day were he told me the same chick that he had fired was bugging out, saying she was gonna get someone to hurt him-which he laughed off because he did MMA(mixed martial arts), he even threatened her back with MY presence- like my girl will come up her and handle your ass or something to that effect. Little did i know this whole situation would turn out to be a life changing experience. The 14th i was having a bad day at work so i called him knowing he was the one person who would make me feel better. He told me it would be ok he'd be out here soon, and jazzy was doing ok and that he loved me, i told him i love him too. those were the last words ever spoken between us two. Later on that night her plan to "hurt him" went into motion.

Im still til this day cloudy on the specifics but what i know is that there was a break in-staged to cover up what really happened. Three cousins of this fired worker entered the back of the store, one with a gun which i'm sure corey probably didn't see because i don't think he would have tried to fight them, then again knowing Corey he still would have.They rushed in under the pretense that they were robbing the place and i'm guessing corey tried to stop them, they probably tried to intimidate him and he more than likely swung on one or 2 of them. Not expecting this i'm guessing the one with the gun might have warned corey to back off and most likely he laughed at them, probably taunting them, not believing he was going to shoot him. How wrong he was. One shot in the chest and back later,my best friend was gone. Jazzy no longer had a father. The person i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with was no more.

This was the news i recieved the next morning, when that came from the other side of that phone all i could do was drop it and slunch down to the floor. My roomate at the time asked what was wrong but my mouth had stopped working.. i felt like someone had dropped an anchor in my lap and i could no longer move. All i wanted was to be numb... he was the person i shared my deepest thoughts with, we got tattoed together, we played video games together, watched wrestling. After that i couldn't do most of those things anymore. My playstation two collected dust on the floor for almost a year, no tattoo seemed interesting enough, my favorite wrestlers came and went, for lack of better term i was in an emotional coma. I remember we once got in an argument and I tried to push him out of my life, his response was he wasn't going no where and he'd always be here. I guess some promises should never be made.

Soulmate

2008-07-23T01:20:00.001-07:00

sparkling eyes

a smile so sweet

from the root of your hair

right down to your feet

from high in the heavens

straight past the clouds

an angel descended

without a doubt

i'll make you happy

give you all that you please

step back from the mirror

my soulmate is me

Boyz II Men - A Song For Mama

2008-05-11T15:41:00.001-07:00

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
Mama you know I love youuuuuuuuuu!

Feel the burn,,,

2008-05-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

So i went to the gym...And I must say i actually liked it. Now I am not the one all for the healthy lifestyle or whatnot. But this was refreshing, I actually sweated and my legs are feeling it, and i might even go back tomorrow...MIGHT being the operative word.guess this year is all about change for me so I'm trying to stick with it.. we'll see how long this lasts. I hope at least long enough for me to get a 2pack, hahahahha lmao

THROWBACK THURSDAY!

2008-05-08T16:25:00.001-07:00

Mya - My Love Is Like...Wo: Unedited Version

Time for that throwback thursday yall- this was the CUT back whEn it came out.. my sex is like WHOOOOOOOOOAAAA

family gotta love em...

2008-05-02T10:53:00.000-07:00

So I'm back home in the chi... and I swear you would not know i was on vacation in this piece, because I'm doing stuff for people like the hired help or something. WTF?
My mama got me cooking dinner like I'm Geofrey off Fresh Prince, and my auntie got me helping her at the condo like I'm bookman from good times.- She paying me for it- but still it's the principality of the matter.

THROWBACK THURSDAY

2008-05-01T23:03:00.001-07:00

Here's something for the REAL old schooler's ... cuz to them I'm still a baby..

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL- NO SERIOUSLY

2008-04-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

ok so for those who don't work with or know me - let me tell you tonight i had my
2nd driving lesson. Why am i taking driving lessons you ask? Shouldn't i have a license already you say? Well i grew up in chicago were our CTA public transportation system was THE BOMB and i didn't need a fregging car so now i'm stuck
LEARNING how to drive with these crazy ass LA drivers-hence the JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.

Now I was doing good when we first pulled off, mainly because the instructor was working the pedals and i just had to steer. Now this being only my 2nd lesson and all i was cool with that. We went to a quiet area and we were working on my turns and whatnot when out of the blue he decided to just throw me in the pool. By that I mean he literally took his foot off the pedal and told me to drive. Now after I had a few woo-sai moments and stopped shrieking long enough to focus i had calmed down a bit. then he got the bright idea to take me out in the street with other drivers. LORD HELP ME was all i was thinking. now i knew the day was coming - but i'm thinking maybe at lesson 3 or 4... but he didn't let me dip a toe in to test the tempature or nothing. Just BAM- right into the pool.

So at this point my shoulders are starting to tense up and i'm about to have a panic attack- even though i knew i had to stay cool so i didn't run anyone over or hit something. He was telling me i was doing fine and blah blah blah - but at that point I'm sweating like winona ryder at Macy's security desk. and it was then the words "Positive reinforcement my ass" escaped my lips. I know I know- drama queen, but it was how i felt at the time because i wasn't prepared for that shit mentally. I just wasn't. Well I'm going back to the CHI next week, and back to my lovely CTA buses- to relax and refocus... so just a warning when i come back- STAY OFF THE ROADS!

THROWBACK THURSDAY

2008-04-25T12:12:00.001-07:00

He's Mine- Mokenstef

Ok 1) Yes I know it's friday- forgot to do it yesterday, 2) this is my new little thing I'm gonna try and do here.. I want to pay tribute to ALL things "old school" so here goes...
LET THROWBACK THURSDAY BEGIN....

here it goes again..

2008-04-12T23:08:00.000-07:00

Jesus take the wheel. its one of those days again. I'm bored, frustrated with my life and don't know how to change it.I feel i'm making strides in my life but they dont feel like they are quick enough for my liking. what to do what to do?

Rip the Runway..

2008-03-16T17:10:00.000-07:00

Ok call me a day late and a dollar short. I was up at the crack of dawn last night catching up on my dvr recordings.. and I FINALLY watched Rip the Runway! For those that don’t know It’s BET’s annual fashion show for all the black designers/ fashion people etc. All I can say is OH MY JESUS-take the wheel. For me it was entirely tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ghetto (me being someone who grew up in the "hood" herself). It is NOT at all what you would see at a New York fashion week or a "white" fashion show. And the ring leader was none other than the self proclaimed world’s sexiest man- NOT! P. Diddy- Diddy-Puffy-Sean Combs himmself! Well it was more like Dumb Diddy to me.

Not only were the models coming out dancing in the outfits and I do mean stripper club down the pole type ish. Some of the models didnt even look like they wanted to be doing the show- walking like they going to the corner store or something.And this fool had the audacity to at one point spray the models with his perfume-UNFORGIVABLE as they were backstage. WTF? Now I know BET is trying to have their own take on fashion and some of the lines were good for what it was, but can we add a little class to OUR productions! PLEASE! And Jaslene, Cycle 9 winner of ANTM(America’s next top model) can some one hand that girl a sandwich or 2 or 3 - or a whole damn buffet tray. She is not what I wanna see galloping down the runway with her breast bone showing. EWW!

And the topper was at the end when they were trying to be positive- which i respect- calling for us as in black america- african americans- whatev to vote. The only problem I have was the slogan which was "Black folks, Go out and Vote" or something to that effect. That is one that i hope doesnt catch on! I’m sure Martin and Malcolm are turning, and pop-locking in their graves right about now. Is this what we have come to? I will vote, but it will be to get a new "urban" channel, because if BET plays Roots and the Colorpurple one more black history month ALL month long I’m gonna scream. Can we get some new material maybe focusing on things we’ve accomplished in the last decades or so... well that’s just my opinion- what’s yours?

WTF?

2008-03-16T00:13:00.000-07:00

Y am i still up at 1214a? I don't know but i really need to go to sleep but i just cant help myself because i am truly a night owl. i 'm just glad tomorrow is sunday and i dont have to go to work.

WoRdGaSm

2008-03-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

Let me encircle your isms with kisses, and you masaturbate my mind
Make my knowledge cum
As I stroke your oblongata

Lick on my cliff notes of novels
While I suck on your dissertations
As we make love in a bedroom of thought
Got my paragraph open like a run-on sentence and it goes
On and on and on and on..

Till we both climax from the back and forth friction
of dialect
And not once have we unrobed a morsel of our clothes
Because fornicating with words is the
ULTIMATE SEX!

Reflection

2008-03-15T23:42:00.000-07:00

Am I who i think I am or know myself to be?

Or is it my unlimited potential that stirs the possibility

I've heard my praise as many things, but only answered to my hearts call

Looking on it now is what made me the person who stands strong and tall

Am i who i think I am or know myself to be?

I look at my reflection and what looks back is finally me..